A Testimonial Sent To Dr. Phillips By A Student. She Is A Physician In Bakersfield, California.

About 30 years ago, I was blessed to come to America to obtain a higher education. During my schooling in college and medical school, I became so haughty. I was in total control of my life. Later, my married life with a carnal Christian man led me to stray from the Lord. I didn't need God and was infatuated to a worldly life. I had everything on the earth that non-Christians dreamed of. I never felt my husband would harm me. Within a few years of my married life, my "sweet" life was gone immediately after I had been in a state of critical condition of near death. This was resulted by an assault of my husband who was a biology college professor. At that time, my husband manifested the first onset of his psychotic behavior with the diagnosis of Huntington's chorea, which later caused his death. While recuperating from multiple injuries, I was devastated without any hope. All of my hard work was felt to be useless and in vain. I was physically, emotionally struggling to survive; initially I blamed God for my suffering and pain. However, there were times I cried out to God and tried to figure out why this terrible tragedy had happened to me. I repented of my sin, and then I was able to have a real peace in my heart trusting that I was forgiven by the blood of Jesus. After that, I had completely emotional and physical healings. This was the turning point of my life that I yielded to the Lord about 10 years ago. I do not know my future, but one thing I do know is that He is in control of my life.

Solomon has stated that the wise find wisdom in the hand of God. Wisdom helps us understand our situation and do the right thing at the right time. We do not know tomorrow what will happen. Let God hold our future.

Thought: What will happen tomorrow, is a consequence of what decisions we make today?

Prayer: Dear Lord, Our life is unpredictable, so bless us with wisdom to discern Your will and walk in Your Word.

Growing up at home, my Mother was a believer, but my Father was not. My Mother was not well-versed in her faith nor discerning about what kind of church she went to and she went to many. Our refrigerator usually contained a bottle of whiskey and our home was the scene of many knock-down, drag-out fights that all the neighbors could hear. Although I was drug down the aisle of a church by my Mother and baptized at the age of 12, I merely went down a dry sinner and came up a wet one. I never remember hearing the Gospel once in the many times I graced any number of churches. It wasn't long until I not only questioned the existence of God, but was refusing to go to church. As I was growing, more and more often I was making the wrong choices and was experiencing a growing sense of my sinfulness and God's certain displeasure with me.

During this phase of my life I was consciously seeking ways to try and make up for my sins and buy my way back into God's good graces. I tried the regular praying of the Lord's Prayer and the punishment of my body by sleeping on the cold floor with only a rough old Army blanket. It seems silly, now, but it was no different than the many methods that men use to buy their way into Heaven. This groping in the darkness left me no confidence or security that I was any closer to God or further from Hell.

One day I happened upon an antique looking book at the Public Library entitled, Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan. I knew nothing about the book and frankly was most impressed by the apparent age of the book and the line drawings inside. I was drawn into the story as I started to read it and could see myself in the man who wept as he carried a heavy burden upon his back in the City of Destruction. Soon afterward, two teenagers came to my door and left an invitation to come to their church and hear an Evangelist. My ears perked up at the sound of an Evangelist; I didn't kinow what one was, but I had read that he had helped the poor man in the Pilgrim's Progress. I went to hear the Bible preached evening after evening and invited my unchurched Father to attend. On a Sunday evening, the third week in October in 1972, I heard the simple Gospel preached by the Rev. Charles L. Jarrett for the first time in my life and felt that his call to come forward to the altar to receive Christ was for me alone. Being a painfully shy young man, such a public venture was all but impossible for me to even consider. I experienced a losing struggle to answer that call, even as I prayed in my seat, but then I began to feel as if there was electricity running up and down my arms and I felt that I could no longer resist the Savior who had died on the cross for me. I rushed down the center aisle of that old country church until I found a spot at the altar and began with tears to confess my sins in my heart and ask that my Savior would apply His forgiveness to me. Although deeply in prayer, I felt someone come kneel behind me and begin to weep; it was my own Father coming to confess his own sins and find the same Savior.

I found a Savior that I didn't know and hadn't sought. As I looked back, it was as if I had been set up all along and that He had encompassed my salvation in ways that I didn't understand. He changed my life and my family beginning that day. I not only found forgiveness of sins, the experience of the love of God and confidence that I had eternal life but I found the privilege of serving Christ along with my Father, who before had no time or interest in the Christ who sacrificed all for us both. It seemed a miracle to me that God could reach out to me from before I was born and find me right where I was; all unworthy and completely unable to reach out to Him. I look forward to Heaven's Homecoming some day and wish only that I might make each day count so as to one day hear Christ say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant." I hope that you will know the same joy.

In Christ--
Jim Steed <IXOYE><